Conversion copy is clear before it's clever, and it leads with benefits (what a feature means for the customer) over features (what it does). Above the fold, the headline carries your single most important message, the subheadline adds specificity in 1-2 sentences, and the CTA says what the visitor gets ("Start Free Trial," not "Submit"). Below it, a logical flow: social proof, problem/pain, solution/benefits, how it works, objection handling, and a final CTA with risk reversal. Throughout, choose simple over complex, specific over vague ("cut reporting from 4 hours to 15 minutes"), active over passive, and the customer's own words over company jargon.
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Write homepage copy for a SaaS tool that automates employee onboarding. Target audience is HR directors at mid-size companies (200-2000 employees). Main differentiator is that it integrates with all major HRIS systems and cuts onboarding time from 2 weeks to 2 days.
Headline: Onboard new hires in 2 days, not 2 weeks Subheadline: The employee onboarding platform that syncs with every major HRIS — so paperwork, provisioning, and training run themselves. CTA: Start Your Free Trial
A) "Onboard new hires in 2 days, not 2 weeks" — leads with the outcome + specificity B) "The onboarding platform built for HR teams that hate busywork" — {category} for {audience} formula C) "Never chase an onboarding checklist again" — "Never {unpleasant event} again" formula
FAQ
What makes a strong marketing headline?
It communicates your single most important message and is specific enough to be meaningful. Proven formulas: "{Achieve outcome} without {pain point}," "The {category} for {audience}," "Never {unpleasant event} again," or a question that names the reader's main pain. Avoid jargon like "innovative" or "streamlined" — clarity beats cleverness every time.
What's the difference between a feature and a benefit in copy?
A feature is what the product does; a benefit is what that means for the customer. "Integrates with all major HRIS systems" is a feature; "cut onboarding from 2 weeks to 2 days" is the benefit. Good copy bridges every feature to its outcome, ideally with a specific number or timeframe attached.
Why are CTAs like 'Learn More' and 'Submit' weak?
They describe an action without communicating value, so they give the visitor no reason to click. Use the formula [Action Verb] + [What They Get] + [Qualifier]: "Start My Free Trial," "Get the Complete Checklist," "See Pricing for My Team." The button should tell people exactly what they're getting on the other side of the click.
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